During a recent conversation with a friend who also experienced cancer a couple of years ago, we talked about how there’s this need to find meaning in a life-changing experience - like getting cancer.
My response was, “I haven’t found any meaning yet but I’m curious!”
I’m waiting to find that big aha! Something that will explain why I’m going through this experience. Something that (finally) gives me an idea for that tattoo I’ve always wanted.
A part of me worries that maybe there is no big aha, that there will be no big breakthrough at all.
As we spoke, it occurred to me that maybe I didn’t need any mind-blowing or significant meaning. Maybe it’s a series of small revelations that slowly unfold or sleathily embed themselves in our being. For instance, as I was speaking to my friend, I shared that I’ve noticed how I’m more aware of what I want to do, what I want to eat, what I want to say, what I feel, AND I actually make small life decisions based on my needs. That’s new to me because making myself a priority has been something I’ve always struggled with. I may have been aware of all this before but I was definitely more accommodating to the needs of others. Other people can take care of themselves.
Now, at this moment in time, I’m taking care of me. I’m listening to me.
Aha!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
It's wonderful that you are taking the time to word out what you are experiencing and sharing. Always so much to learn from you. With you in thought and prayer!